Ian is starring in the mirror, inspecting his eyebrows.
Stacey is setting up her stall when she finds a girl sleeping under the cardboard.
Mickey is rifling through the dirty dishes. Dawn is searching for Summer’s milk. Keith looks guilty.
Tanya is getting the girls off to school. Lauren didn’t finish her homework as she’s left her book at her dad’s. Abi proudly says she did all of her homework.
Mo, Jean, and Charlie discuss his weight loss progress. He’s lost 3 pounds. Jean cheers him on.
Ian is in a state over his eyebrow. Jane tells him to let it go as it’s just an eyebrow. Ian calls it a mutant hair. He says it’s a bush. Jane is laughing at him. Christian comes in and wonders what they are discussing. Jane tells Christian it’s the effects of aging. Christian discusses the kitchen tap with Ian. Ian stalls until Christian reminds him of their tenancy agreement. Ian begrudgingly agrees to get a plumber. Christian reminds them that they are doing the wine tasting later. Jane tells him to bring the stuff there, and they’ll do it after the kids have gone to bed.
Christian asks Ian if he’s thought about jogging? Ian says, once or twice. Christian asks, “a week?”Jane tells Christian, no, that’s pretty much it. Christian tells him he should more often as he’s stressed. Ian replies he is not stressed! Ian says Jane looks at Ian, and he says no more stressed than usual. Jane tells him that he spends more time thinking about Edwards’s party than he does about her. He tells her it’s important. She tells him so are other things. Ian reminds her he just made a romantic dinner a few weeks ago. She reminds Ian that Christian did most of the work. Jane tells Ian they haven’t spent enough quality time together. He doesn’t take the cue and asks if she means a movie or DVD? She tells him she doesn’t want to do any of that. He asks Jane if she doesn’t want a film or a DVD, then what else is it she wants him to do? She stares at him, and he finally gets it. Jane smirks, takes a sip of her coffee, and says, “ah and the penny drops!” Ian smiles like a little boy.
Stacey and Steven are discussing the girl who is panhandling outside the Minut Mart. Stacey says she caught her sleeping rough in her stall. Steven says Paula is not hurting anything. Stacey tells him she doesn’t want her nicking her stock. Steven can’t understand why Stacey always has to think the worst of people. She doesn’t like disappointment and walks off.
Ian is coming out of his gate and bumps into Clare. She informs him she’s going to the laundrette to do her laundry. She’s got nickers, bra’s, clothes and tennies. Ian doesn’t look happy to be caught up in conversation. He says to Clare he’s a bit busy right now. Clare asks Ian if he needs silver service lessons anymore? He tells her he’s okay, okay. She tells him she knows a few tricks and could show him. He tells Clare, “as I said, I’m fine.” Clare walks off, stops in the doorway of the laundrette, and gives him a look. Ian grimaces a smile and answers his mobile.
Mo is creating a charity weight loss challenge for Charlie, except he doesn’t know about it. Stacey overhears her and asks her about it. Mo tells Stacey that Charlie is going to lose 30 pounds; he just doesn’t know it yet. Stacey asks Mo about all the money going to charity. Mo secretly tells her that most of it are 50% after subtracting her organizational cost. Stacey asks her if she means the pen and paper she’s holding. Mo tells her that is where she is wrong, as it’s much more than that behind the scenes. Stacey smiles and asks her if she means Uncle Charlie not finding out?
Dawn and Jase are walking, and as he explains his job opportunity. He informs her he’s leaving tonight for a refit job in Spain. She asks him about being there for Jay in court when he presents evidence. Jase tells her Jay will be fine. Jase tells Dawn that they talked about it. Dawn tells Jase that Jay won’t be. Jay has been having nightmares. Jase isn’t concerned as he reminds her that Jay has her too. Dawn is not happy.
Paula slurps up the soup Steven has bought her. He asks if she has to sleep rough? She replies that she has a luxury penthouse that is in remodel! She says yes, she does have to sleep rough. Steven asks her why she can’t go home? Paula tells him she doesn’t fit. Paula says that her dad passed away six years ago. He tells her she is sorry. She tells him it happens. Paula says that for a while, it was just her and her mum. Then she met someone else. Steven interjects that it got a bit crowded then?
Ian tells Jane he’s taking her to a hotel. She’s excited. He tells her they’ll enjoy good food, good wine and then, how did she put it? Jane tells him, “quality time.” He smiles and says the whole caboodle yep. She asks him they can afford it? He kisses her and says, who cares! She smiles, then motions at his eyebrows, and tells him he might want to pluck.
Stacey comes into the cafe and asks Steven what’s going on? Steven introduces Paula to Stacey. Stacey says, hello. Paula tells her that Steven bought her some soup. Stacey replies, “oh, did he? I always said he was a soft touch.” Paula says she should go and tells Steven maybe she’ll see him later on. Stacey says she is sure he will. Stacey criticizes Steven for helping Paula out. Steven says she was lonely and needed a friend. Stacey wonders why he has to be the one to rescue her? Steven looks cross and asks if she doesn’t think he’s up to it?
Mo has told Charlie about the sponsored diet. He’s not too bothered. Jean thinks it’s a great idea and a bit of incentive. Mo says to him, “you lose, and we gain!” Charlie is not happy. Mo asks him if he is losing weight. He tells her he is. Mo says he’s hiding something. He pulls out letters from his pocket and says these came in the mail this morning. They realize he’s placed the advert.
Jane is slammed in the cafe, and Tanya is there having a cup of tea. Jane walks back over to her and tells Tanya not to say to her she’s having second thoughts about Max. Tanya tells her all she is saying is that things are never really black or white. Jane tells her she finds with Ian they usually are. Tanya tells her no, they are often more complicated. Jane tells her not this time. Tanya asks if she thinks he is 100% wrong. Jane says he pulled his trousers down and cheated, so yes, he is. It is not Tanya’s fault he did it. Tanya asks if Ian’s ever cheated? Jane tells Jane he’s never succeeded. Tanya asks her what she would do if she caught him? Jane says she’d kill him. Tanya looks at her and says, “well, there’s a thought.” They both laugh. Tanya’s mobile rings and it’s the school. She needs to come about Lauren; they tell her.
Ian walks up to find Clare sitting outside the laundrette. She tells him she’s just waiting on her laundry to finish. You know her underwear, and Ian interrupts her and says, “yes, your smalls, I know.” She tells him she should probably handwash them really as she wouldn’t want the suspenders to lose their snap. Ian looks uncomfortable, yet delighted. She tells him that suspenders need a bit of snap… don’t they. Ian seems to be imagining the scene when Christian walks up behind him. Ian turns to talk to him. Christian inquires as to if he’s called the plumber. Ian tells him he will get round to it. Christian asks him to get round to it now. Ian changes the subject and asks him to help train him to get into shape for her Majesty. Christian wonders if the Queen takes note of such things? Ian replies that it doesn’t matter as Christian pointed out that he is stressed, and jogging is good for it, so let’s get to it. Ian looks in Clare’s direction. Christian asks him when he wants to start? Ian says, Now as he glances at Clare again as she walks away and looks back at him.
Jean asks Charlie if he put an ad in the Lonely Hearts? Mo says she thought he binned them? Charlie tells them he had second thoughts. He says, look at all these replies! Mo tells him to pick one. Charlie isn’t sure how? Jean starts to read one but doesn’t understand they are acronyms. Charlie wonders what if it’s a disaster? Mo tells him it’s just like riding a bike. You get on and pedal. Jean reads another, and Mo tears it up. Jean reads another, and Charlie perks up. It’s a woman named Elizabeth. He likes it because it’s like the Queen. He says you always know where you are with Elizabeth! Let’s try her, he says.
Ian and Christian are jogging in the park. Ian struggles to catch his breath. They do some squat thrust. Christian says 20, and Ian adds in 10 more.
Tanya brings Lauren home and says she doesn’t understand. Mrs. Gladstone says you didn’t do anything after the lesson was over. She said you didn’t say anything, didn’t move, just sat there staring. Tanya asks her what is going on. Lauren doesn’t respond. She gets a glass of water. She tells Lauren she’s trying to understand. She asks Lauren if she’s being bullied? Lauren still says nothing. Tanya loses her cool and tells her she could really do without this right now! She looks at Lauren and tells her she doesn’t understand what it’s been like for her. Lauren stands up and tosses the water in Tanya’s face and walks out.
Ian is barely making it. Christian asks Ian how his lungs are doing? Ian tells him tiptop. Christian looks at him and asks, “really?” Ian says, no! Everything is hurting, his lungs, his arms, his teeth. Christian tells him they should knock off for the day. The last one to sissy gets the tea. Ian tells him eh’s got that one sewed up, doesn’t he? Christian tells him, “unless you are too knackered and wanna walk?” Ian takes off jogging, and Christian slaps him on the bum.
Tanya walks into the living room to talk to Lauren. Lauren asks her to please just leave her alone. Tanya tells her she is not cross with her. Tanya says to her that the other day Oscar got sick down the front of her. Tanya tells her she understands. Lauren says to her, “really?” Tanya tells her she understands that she sees her and her dad tearing each other down. Lauren yells at her to shut up! Lauren tells her mum she doesn’t see it or understand. One minute you’re up, and everything is okay and the next you’re crying. Abi tells me things she can’t tell you. And then the other night at the party! Tanya tells her she needs her to be strong. Lauren tells her she’s only 13! Lauren tells her it’s things like the other night at the party or crying when Tanya doesn’t think anyone is looking. Tanya tells Lauren she does have feelings, and ain’t she allowed to be like everyone else? Lauren tells her, “you’re my mum; you’re aren’t like everyone else.” Tanya starts to cry.
Christian and Ian are making their way around the square. Christian encourages him. Christian puts his leg up on the fence to stretch. Ian attempts it but can’t do it, so he stretches his arms. Christian reminds him to stretch his teeth. Clare wanders up behind Ian and tells him that when she was younger, she thought a man with a six-pack was ideal. Even went out wit ha few of them. But now she knows it’s not what counts. The mind is the most important part. It’s what turns her on. But what did she know back then as she was just a kid? Ian points out she’s a big girl now. Clare looks at Ian seductively and says she is and in all the right places. Ian’s smile fades, and as Clare walks off, he calls himself a dummy. Steven walks up and asks Ian if Paula can use his shower. Ian reminds him he’s not running a hostel. Steven asks Stacey to do him a favor.
Jase tells Jay to do him a favor and stick to his guns and tell the truth. Jase tells him he’s got nothing to be afraid of. He tells Jay not to be nervous and if he does get nervous to think of them naked and think of them all in their dangly bits. Jay tells him he wishes he wasn’t going. Jase tells him it’s work and will only be a week. It will be alright. Jase heads on his way.
Charlie comes down dressed all dapper. Mo and Jean approve. Mo tells him if he gets lucky where to find protection. Charlie grumbles. Steven, Stacey, and Paula come in. Mo wonders what is going on? Stacey tells her that she got guilted into letting Paula shower at theirs by Mother Theresa (Steven). Paula tells them it’s very kind of them. Stacey calls up after her that she knows how many bits of soap there is up there. Steven tells her she should have a little faith.
Dawn tells everyone that there are new rules. Tea is at 6:30 every night. If you miss it too bad, she details the house rota. No takeaways except Friday. Jay says he doesn’t do rotas. Dawn tells him he does now. Keith says he can’t dust due to his dust allergies. Dawn tells him not to breathe then. She sends Jay off to the chippy. Mickey protests, but she stops him. She tells them it’s only been a minute since Zainab left, and the place is already like a toilet. She informs them that she is the new attendant. Keith and Mickey are worried.
Christian, Ian, and Jane are tasting the wines. Christian and Jane are doing it the proper way by spitting it out, and Ian is consuming it. Jane says she likes the one they just tasted. Ian tries to pronounce it but butchers the name. Christian pronounces it in French. Ian says he knew it. He and Ian banter back and forth. Christian tells him to go easy achy breaky teeth. Ian tells them they should try a red. They sample it, and Ian holds the wine in his mouth and breaths in. Jane asks him what he’s doing? He tells her that he likes to get some air across it so it can breathe in his mouth. Christian tells him he’s doing it wrong, and he’s supposed to spit. Ian replies that he knows that, but he likes to swallow. Christian looks at him and says, “too many jokes. Way too many jokes.” Ian finally gets it.
Jay is walking home with the chips. A woman pushes him into the wall and tells him she doesn’t care what he does, but he will not show up in court to give evidence. Jay says, “you’re Tegs’ mum?” She tells him she doesn’t care how he does it. Runaway burst an appendix but do not show up in court. He asks her if she’s having a laugh? She pulls his bandaid off and pushes her nail into his cut. She asks him if this feels like she’s having a laugh. (Jay winces in pain.)
Charlie is walking past the pub when Peggy is out gathering pint glasses. She asks him what he’s doing all dressed up. He tells her he was supposed to meet someone, but they had other ideas. He explains it was a blind date. He tells Peggy that he doesn’t want to go in and tell Mo and listen to her tell him it was all his fault. She tells him he doesn’t have to go straight home. Peggy asks where he was meeting his friend. He tells her, and she asks him if the table is booked. He tells her it is. She asks him if he fancies a bit of company. He says she doesn’t really want to go to dinner with him? She says she was thinking of having an early night with a hot water bottle and a milky beverage, but dinner with him has got to be better than that. He says to Peggy, “Peggy Mitchell, you’re going to sweep me off my feet.”
Stacey and Steven discuss Paula and her circumstances. They hear the door click and get up to check. Steven puts on his coat to follow her and realizes his wallet is gone.
Ian is downing the wine, and Jane tells him to go easy. She doesn’t want him to be hungover for their big night. Christian asks what they are talking about? Jane fills him in on Ian’s big surprise for her. Christian asks where Ian’s taking her, and Ian tries to change the subject. Jane tells him it’s at the Challes. Christian says it’s such a coincidence as that is a complimentary room for Edward’s party. Jane looks at Ian, upset. Ian thanks Christian for sticking him in it. Jane asks if it’s true? Ian says it is. Jane says he really shows how much he cares. Ian says if he knew it was about how much he spent, then he could have just spent the money. Jane tells him it’s not about that. It is more about what he did not tell her. In fact, she would have had a laugh at it. But he made it out to be something it was not, and it’s spoiled. Jane asks Christian to go to the pub with him. Ian asks, what about all the wine? Jane tells him to drink it. It was free just how he likes it.
Peggy and Charlie are having a lovely dinner together. They talk about how wonderful it was when they were younger. They talk about all the ills of getting older and have a good laugh at it.
Tanya is looking at a photo of her and Max. She shuts her phone. Lauren comes in and tells her she couldn’t sleep. Tanya tells her not to forget that she’s going to see her dad tomorrow. Lauren tells her that Abi is dead excited. Lauren asks her mum if she’s really okay with it. Tanya says she is excited for them. Lauren asks her why she and dad can’t get along? She is ready for it to be over. Tanya reassures her it’s going to be okay, trust her.
Charlie and Peggy walk back to the pub. He tells her she got door to door service tonight. They talk about what a lovely time it was. Charlie kisses Peggy on her cheek, and he accidentally grabs her chest. Charlie is mortified. Peggy tells him it’s really okay, at least one of them got a bit of action tonight. Charlie is still mortified.
Ian is standing in front of the mirror, sucking his gut in and then letting it out. His phone beeps with a text. He looks at it, and it’s from Jane. She tells him, “this is silly, we’re in the pub.”
Mo is trying to help Charlie with the Lonely Hearts letters. She tells him he needs to be more 21st century. Be more like her and down with the kids.
Ian is sneaking across the square. He spies Charlie and ducks down. Charlie opens his cab door, takes out some candies, and sits in the cab to enjoy them. Ian sneaks by and rings Dot’s doorbell. Clare opens the door. He says, ” You kissed me the other night. Is something going on here? I am not imagining this, am I?” Clare stands there, smiling at him. Ian continues to say he’s booked a table for two at the Challes Hotel tomorrow night. She tells him she likes hotels as they’ve got rooms. He tells her he has one of those as well.